Magnolia, you are not alone here. Many of us drank to self medicate just like you. This doesn’t make you a bad person. You are just surviving. But there are better alternatives to alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant so even though it may take the immediate edge off, it will keep you down in the long run and keep causing all kinds of problems. Doctors can be the worst. I had a therapist who also made me feel worse. Can you get a more sympathetic doctor? I hope you will keep coming here for support. We’ve all been through this. Why is rehab not an option? If you are suffering withdrawals and it’s not an option, you can find a doctor who can prescribe something for you maybe?