Hugs Awal. I really do hope that you'll be able to take a deep breath, stay calm, and get some support for yourself from others who've walked this path ahead of you. As well as here in Newcomers, there is also a great Friends and Family area (see link below) - the 'stickies' in there are likely to be useful reads for you. Also AlAnon in your area would be worth investigating, so that next time you're worried for your own sanity you would have support just a phone call away rather than reacting in ways that are counter-productive such as buying liquor for your alcoholic.
Are you only staying with him for the financial security and maintaining your standard of living? If so it might be worth reconsidering. Peace of mind is often more valuable than material possessions. Would you be able to support yourself if push came to shove? Maybe it would be worth consulting someone legally to find out exactly what might happen if you did seperate (if you didn't already do this).
BB
You can find the Friends and Family area here, and their 'stickies' are at the top of the page...
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/