growingstronger…..I feel very frustrated because of lack of more specific information...….
Given that...I assume that you do not have any face to face contact with him. I assume that your only contact with him is by phone. You say that you have blocked him....for how long...? a month....longer....? For the forseeable future?
My suggestion is that if you ever unblock the phone, and he should call...just talk to him in a normal human way....unless and until he says anything hostile, sarcastic or disrespectful....then, in a calm voice, say "I am going to end this conversation, now".....and promptly hang up.
What to do, in the meantime....? I suggest to do what every parents with an empty nest do with their lives....what every other husband and wife do to bring enjoyment, meaning and pleasure to their lives.
Once the fledgling has left the nest...which it sounds like yours has, successfully done....then the parent/child relationship shifts to another plane. the responsibilities of parental nurturing and caring for the dependent child are relieved and no longer necessary...and, the relationship becomes more like adult to adult. Yes, adults with deep ties and love for each other....but, the parent becomes more like the trusted consultant or mentor. Of course, respect should be practiced...and expected by all.....if not...then, of course, boundaries should be placed.
As I understand it...he is 24 and is in a relationship with a person, now. I can tell you, with some confidence, that , at that age...their mental space is not taken up with the parent, very much...and it focused most all of the time, on the "mate"....and their own day to day and hour to hour interests. Independence from the parental nest pretty much defines these years.
Looking back, I feel so guilty that I didn't call my parents enough, or write my extended family enough, or visit any of my family enough....I was so focused on working full time at my career, attending to my home and early marriage and giving birth and caring for three children...…
I think that is the way it goes for pretty much all young adults as they are making their way in the world.....nd, the parent figures just have to adjust to that new reality.....
I believe that I see that you and your husband, both have therapists....of some kind....I have zero idea what the dynamics of your
family have been...but, the therapists should be able to guide you two in how to relate to each other and your son.....and/or how to go forward as a couple or to grow, individually.....