That makes perfect sense, it's hard for me to express myself cause my brain is still a bit erratic and foggy (hence why I tend to ramble in my posts)
I feel as if I'm coming off as harsh - and that is completely not my intention. My brain is just in a weird state right now. It's a mixture of depression, foggyness, sleepyness, etc. So I do qant suggestions and I appreciate them! I especially want information about SMART from anyone who has gone through that program!
To answer your question, yes I want to be sober and have a life in recovery.