Back here again.
Hi,
I find myself back here reading through the various threads. I have applied the advise I had been given before to use with my codependent behaviour with a addict friend/roommate.
Due to a natural disaster I moved back home. I now live next door to my addicted Mom. She has had a lifetime struggle with cocaine. She had been doing good or so u thought the last couple of years. We were in contact but I didnt see her.
The drugs started after many years of molestation by her brothers so I tend to make excuses for her behaviour.
When i moved back i saw the shape she was in and i was in shock. Heavily addicted to crack and skin on bones. Ive been watching her and trying to lend a listening ear. I have driven her to AA( which she quit pretty quick). Made her eat and she looks relatively healthy now.
Her usage has gone down a lot but any emotional occurrence makes her binge.
She has asked for help and I comply when I can. She has gone as far and have me and family lock her up in her house. Usually lasts about 3 days.
I have finally convinced her to go talk to her doctor and she has prescribed her Oxazepam. Don't know if thats a great thing but when I can convince her to take them she is drowsy and not using but if she doesn't its back to square one.
Every day I go over and make sure she is still breathing.
The rest of the family knows of her addiction but are woefully naive to the scope and impact of addiction and in particular this specific drug.
Any blowup and she manipulates it in such a way that I am at fault and everyone tends to believe her.
So not only am i trying to start my life over, provide her with support, deal with all the lies and worries, im also having to defend myself against all their opinions.
I am so stressed out, not taking care of myself, have developed alopecia and so now am getting bald spots.
I know I should move away and start my life over somewhere else but I am not ready to get the phone call that she is gone.
Thanks for letting me vent in a place I know understands the complexities with this disease.