Tired of the cycle
I would imagine you are. You are the only one who can change this cycle, it seems she has become comfortable with it and she will repeat it over and over for as long as YOU continue to do that dance with her.
When you ask are they any programs that do not “teach the test”, so to speak what comes to my mind is, you need teaching so that you stop passing her “test” and allowing the cycle to continue. Rehabs are not jails, they cannot keep someone against their will nor are they stupid, they know the game alcoholics play but not much they can do except wish them well when then leave and arm them with all the info on aftercare plans on what they need to do to remain sober. It’s not a matter of YOU finding a different approach for HER to stop drinking, it’s all about her own desire to want to. The repeated cycle indicates she doesn’t want to. You on the other hand are not armed with anything, you have no program for yourself to help you address this issue using healthy coping skills like setting healthy boundaries for yourself and your son.
Like most of us your thinking gets stuck in the place of fixing them, getting them better and healthier so THEN everyone else’s life in the home gets better – it doesn’t work like that, wish it did but it does not.
Al-anon is a great start but there are a number of programs out there that can help YOU and your son. I also echo that you son needs some outside intervention to help him cope with this difficult situation. I would imagine your son feels ashamed and embarrassed with the situation and his whole life is going to begin to revolve around all of those negative feelings he is most likely bottling up and he needs a safe healthy place to release them.