I struggle with ocd, particularly sensorimotor, but ocd in many forms generally and daily. Drinking was definitely a numbing agent for the compulsions, and I would imagine that as Pure-O it’s the same sort of numbing factor as you’ve mentioned. Being off alcohol awakens so many dormant mental senses that I imagine pure-o is worse than ever in this regard. It takes a lot of inner strength to avoid the anxieties that come with sobriety, and even more so for those with anxiety issues - but we do have it within us!
Falling off the wagon once is exactly that - falling off the wagon once. It doesn’t negate all the hard work and progress you’ve put in and there’s no wrong in admitting your brain, just this once, got the upper hand. You took it back; you’re sober now. Anxiety would be a foe even without the hangover. You should be proud it only got one hit in, and sometimes when we are truly at the end of our rope with anxiety it seems like ANYTHING will make it better. You are only human, don’t forget that. I hope this ramble helps in some way and you give your Pure-O a swift kick in the metaphorical behind
