I love your post..I only have under three weeks right now but I have hadsome months and nearly a year of sobriety in the past ( pregnancy.)
Right now I feel dull and a bit numb at times. I’ve had waves of emotions and tears..but daily the most emotion I have is irritability and blah.
During long term sobriety I felt what you are describing. I made so many poor choices when drinking..and I almost feel like I was abusing myself my ALLOWING others to use me. I was so unkind to my body and soul. I put on a front like I made my own choices and I was independent and strong. But, without alcohol many things would not have happened. I would have been somewhere else. I did dangerous things to myself and potentially others. It is HARD to accept and forgive.
But we can do it! It helps knowing others feel the same and have been through it.
So many cliches but so much truth as well. NO ONE is perfect. Even people without addictions make horrible choices. No sure if I should be glad that I can’t remember a lot of mine