Thank you!
Thank you all SO MUCH. I really appreciate the support.
I think you all are right (thanks especially for sharing, Dee); the jist of it is, I'm still breaking the habit and certain patterns and even if I have to white knuckle a couple of hours and take it a minute at a time, it's so worth it.
I made my whiny butt go to two meetings and I'm feeling a lot better. I also was able to talk to my temporary sponsor and I think I'm going to start working on my fourth step. Hopefully, this climb will provide me some additional introspection and make me focus on everything else besides me.
Thank you all again <3