You blame yourself for making him unhappy at times? He is an adult and he controls his happiness, not you. I dealt with an angry and functioning alcoholic for 10 years. I recently left and can tell you that I am so much happier without all the chaos. Like others have said, leave now and don’t look back and yes even if he will be seeking help. You will have good days and bad days but time does heal. You deserve someone who will treat you better than this!