I went back and forth. It was risky; I was in danger of drinking again. But it was also addict behavior.
I may never kill the nicotine addiction, even though I only smoked several a day like you. But I vape now. I know many say that is also bad and I’m by no means espousing it as something good for you. But I don’t feel the same as I did when I smoked - so there’s that.
For me staying sober was the most important thing, and I for whatever reason just couldn’t do both.