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Old 08-09-2018, 01:09 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
FreeOwl
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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Originally Posted by lessgravity View Post
Spending some time at a beautiful beach home with family who enjoy wine, sometimes a lot of it. I feel great sober. Life is changing, and has changed, for the better in every way possible since I finally quit drinking. I'm in the low 100s, need to check my sober counter on my phone but it's going to be 4 months sober in a few days - most in my life after some horrid drinking spells in the past year, and decades of giving in to the addiction.

But the little, devious, persistent, irrational, unreasonable, cruel, lying demons reappear still. They whisper just how sweet it would be to have a big, cold glass of that expensive Chardonnay everyone else is enjoying.

I "know" better - but it doesn't matter. They still whisper. In the face of the demons I play the movie out. I dwell on the depth of pain and misery I was in only a few months ago - the vomit, the deceit, the shame. But the demons still flit about. I brush them away.

In the end, regardless of the false romance the demons want me to imagine was my drinking life, I'm not drinking no matter what. In the end it's still the same - no one is coming to save me.
I discovered that key lime La Croix fizzy water mixed 50/50 with lemonade is a fantastic drink at the beach house.... plus I can drink as much of it as I want and it won't land me in jail.
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