Rayna,
I get it. I too have a big party that I’m hosting this weekend and spent a great deal of time worrying and obsessing about everything that could happen/couldn’t happen, etc. The wise folks on SR helped me to understand that my emotions are at play with this party and that it is my anxiety and my expectations that are getting in the way. I was also reminded that my emotions and my actions are two very separate things. Since receiving all the feedback on this forum, my anxiety levels about this party dropped tremendously.
With that said, I have created several escape plans. I have created a party where my hosting duties will keep me extremely busy. I have been reminding myself daily, sometimes hourly, that my emotions won’t get the best of me and that I have the power to not take the first drink.
You can do this. You will get through this party! I am cheering you on!