Hey Sweetichick. I've dealt with death recently too. I lost my Dad and my stepdad to unrelated Cancer's 12 months between each other. Both out of the blue, and both died young (56, and 47).
The reason why your psychiatrist is saying the same things is because he's suggestions real solutions to your problem, but you're struggling to take that leap of faith.
As Dee said, you need to change the process. Change the process and you will change the outcome.
I can absolutely promise you the grieving process is less painful, and easier to deal with, sober.
Take that leap of faith <3