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Old 08-04-2018, 12:51 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
mirrorball
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 52
Just an update from me.. so many times when posters do not return to threads it is because they have relapsed. I'm happy to say this is not the case for me! I've not touched drugs since I made my BP at the end of June. I went through a weird period of feeling like I was mourning the loss of 'drug me' and I feel like I've kind of come through that now.

I've been enjoying creating a drug free life and spending time with family. I got a new job, something I wanted to do before but couldn't as I got away with a lot of 'sick days' in my old job which I knew I wouldn't get away with in a new job, and besides I want to be able to fully commit myself to my work.

I've had a few cravings, but as I have deleted all contacts and have no using friends anymore, there's no chance of getting any. I know these cravings are not the real me - they are my AV. I keep telling myself 'this way of life is better. I If the other way was better, if I truly believed that, I'd make a choice to continue but as it is I've made a choice that this way is better and to stop.'

So yeah this feels like a whole new chapter for me. I went away to stay in a hotel with Mr. Mirrorball the other night. We had a night off the kids as my parents took them for the night. In the past I'd have taken a gram with me and we'd have stayed up all night then felt awful the next day. This time we had a lovely meal at the hotel, got to bed at a reasonable hour and spent the next day exploring the city and going to a spa. It was great! Makes me realise that drugs just make you prioritise getting high, at the expense of experiencing life. So glad to have got out of my addiction. Never going back!
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