Eddiebuckle

As in a healthy, independent person with boundaries.

I think many of us come to sobriety with a whole lot of baggage, some inherited and some that we created as ways to cope with the disconnect between what we felt the world outside demanded of us versus the "me" that we believed existed inside. Even the "inside" me wasn't truly me, it was a collection of stories that I told myself about me. In some ways, they got me off the hook: "I'm shy, I don't like to talk to people" - this gave me permission to avoid others. Since becoming sober, I've discovered that my "shy" story was basically shame with a mask - I didn't think I was worth sharing with others, and I feared rejection or ridicule.

These discoveries are things that we pick up along the way in our sober journey. That journey comes to a screeching halt when we drink or use. I have come to cherish my sobriety as the foundation on which everything I now value in this life is built. But the "house" (me) needed a lot of TLC at first, it was disheartening to discover how many things needed attention to bring them into good working order. There was a lot of old garbage that needed to be thrown out too. Parting with the things you've surrounded yourself with for most of your life is hard to do. But eventually, I got my house to a point where not only is it a pleasant and functional space to be, but it's capable of weathering some pretty nasty storms too.

Before any of that could be possible, first it needed a foundation.