Nothing to be ashamed of in owning up and accepting one’s alcoholism. Nobody cares anyway. People do care about an irritating, liability of a drunk however. It’s irrational to have fear about going to AA due to what people might think when people are seeing you blackout drunk. They may actually agree it’s exactly where you should be. However it’s your call and I can only offer my experience.
Once you get some recovery under your belt things become clearer. Humility is a great quality and one which is vital in recovery from alcoholism in my experience.
Alcoholism is a great leveller.