Welcome Karl. I hope your journey leads you back to your youth when (hopefully in your case) the world was open and waiting for you to explore. One thing that comes to mind as you've shared your thoughts is that you want a telescope to look at the moon. Have you ever spent much time in the outdoors viewing the night skies? It seems some grass or sand between your toes viewing the stars could help get you grounded. A clear night with a clear mind can be so very restorative. The country always helped me get centered. I wish that gift which you can give yourself. Peace be with you