Oh yeah Frick, I told them about the ongoing clonazepam withdrawals, although the med was prescribed and was never abused, the new dr I was seeing decided after about 2.5 yrs it was time for me to come off of it, so I've been dealing with the withdrawals from that since April as I tapered down. It sucked. And sometimes it was unbearable... so I'd drink to cope. That turned into big binges during my days off... maintenance drinking... we all know the story.
I started getting fearful of the damage I was doing to my brain as I was progressively losing feeling in my feet and hands, with some pain, confusion, short term memory loss, loss of hearing, you know, all that stuff we like to google when we've drank ourselves scared and senseless. I knew I was in trouble whether I stopped or not. So when I laid down in bed and was too tired to take a proper breath and couldn't feel my arms at all and just felt like I was ready to pass out I knew it was time.
That in itself was scary. The seizure was the most terrifying part.
I could have died. They put me on antibiotics as they were concerned I was septic.
I pulled some horseshoes out of my a$$ again, I definitely had someone watching over me. I can't do this to myself anymore. I've used up all my chances.
Right now I am still struggling with the compulsive thoughts, they're nothing but thoughts and I really don't want to drink. But I am home alone, fortunately with no wheels and I've cleaned up all the empties and dumped out my little stash (my other stuff was found and taken by my ex).
Today is day 2. I honestly can't remember the last time I said that.