I made a decision a long time ago now that my past would no longer define me.
It wasn't easy to face some of that stuff - and I had some counselling help - but it was far better than drinking and using and obsessing over the past.
I wish you peace too Laura but you're not going to find it raking over old resentments again and again.
I'm not saying your pain isn't valid - but how long do you carry around the pain caused by other people?
D