I relate to your situation
I just wanted to let you know, I relate to your situation and first I want to offer a hug. Second, I want to tell you - you’ll get there bc I’m starting to slowly find my way through it with him STILL in my life. I’m emotionally detaching from him somehow. Is all I can think. The issue with me is, I’m still with him. I’m still trying to find the courage to leave, as I worry leaving will put me into a depression which I don’t want to face.
Ok so... it sounds like you went through what I go through. He hits where he knows it will hurt and that’s his tactic. Using my past, present and future to hurt me, over and over. I’m sure I don’t have to explain how hurtful and damaging that is. I too have PTSD from my past, and I was getting through it and not long ago it reappeared and I know it’s due to him using what happened to me, as his weapon. That’s when I started detaching from him.
I have been going to counseling and it’s helping. My counselor recommended the EMDR I heard mentioned here and now I’m interested again in maybe trying that. Their are good books. I love books. I love to read, so any tips on books that have helped you, I’d be interested!
You’re strong and you’re getting there. You’re ahead of me in that you’ve left. I’m going to be there myself soon. I wish you the best and I am following this with you as your story matches my own.