Yeah. I came into recovery because I was sick of my relationships being so difficult.
Some of the relationships had to go. Some of them I changed the frequency with which I was willing to engage. Some of them I had to learn to say, "No."
I read so many self-help books. They really helped. The Bible helped a lot too.
I finally just got tired of the fight - internally and externally. I put it down. I forgave. I stopped engaging with my mother, she was who she was and that wasn't up to me to change. There were many times I just walked away from her, or said, "Mom, I have to go," and hung up the phone. And then there were the times she still elicited tears from me. It just happens - family can really get under the skin.
They aren't always right.
I can walk away - and I can not reply. Not engaging was the most powerful, healing thing I did. Keeping my balance became the most important thing and I accomplished that by not talking and/or by not reacting.