Originally Posted by
Lunchbox1 
"Well, you lived, but at what cost to our relationship, and to the family?"
WHAAAT??? So basically he said he wished you were dead!?! Because this is what that sounds like. IMHO, please divorce him. I know this is hard. I've been through this and divorce was the hardest thing I've EVER done. Stop talking to this clown. Tell him nothing. Get your money organized and separate. See a lawyer. Fill out the papers and then serve him. Don't discuss it with him. Just do it.
Originally Posted by
Lunchbox1 Does his statement imply it wasn't worth it that I lived?
I don't care what he was implying. He's not worth talking to. Every time he opens his mouth, a whole lot of moths fly out. I'm so sorry. This is not the way you should be treated! I know we're not meant to give advice and I just said that you should divorce him... however... it's something to think about. You might start feeling better if you get some distance from him.
Edit: if this guy is indeed a narcissist, leaving will be difficult because that is the time that they feel threatened -- you are removing yourself as a resource, they will feel their control is being threatened. Abusers also act like this. Watch out for an escalation of abusive behavior if you try to leave. I'm not saying you should
not leave... but when they find out that you are trying to do it, they will be difficult. So make sure you pre-plan everything. I second the recommendation to read Lundy Bancroft's book. It was a life-saver for me. Please keep posting here too. Also google the "aspire" app.