Very good news: my husband is completely on board with my end-of-life wishes.
What he would really like to know is when the other shoe is going to drop—that is,when and where will it progress?
It’s hard, because with this cancer you can go totally symptom-free for quite awhile. Right now I just have the occasional dull indigestion feeling and the periodic pains in the right side of my liver, and even they are not that sharp.
Some days I have less energy than others, but I’m still pretty fine.
It does feel unreal.
I’m compelled to hurry, hurry, hurry to be efficient and get my affairs in order—to hurry up and wait!
We would really like another scan, but when I said no to attempted treatment, I became ineligible for insurance coverage of tests. The original oncologist refused to order any tests that were medically unnecessary.
So we just wait for the other shoe to drop!
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But to occupy my mind I have been furiously planning all the events of the bucket list trips!
I’m not being too rigid, but I like to have a basic plan so we don’t have to sit around twiddling our thumbs (unless we darn well feel like it!
).