Stacy,
My axh used to say that he accepted me for who I was, why was I always trying to change him. I "never" loved him for who he was. Really, an abusive, mean alcoholic/addict?
Your husband can talk till he is blue in the face, nothing will change. He is showing you that he is happy with who he is, you are not happy with who he is. It is not his problem to fix. What are you going to do for you?