Welcome!
We take care of ourselves, if we are unable to take of ourselves how are we going to know someone else is actually taking care of us?
Stopping is the best option for you and that will trickle down to your kids.
You and your kids are the most important part in this equation.
Try going to an AA meeting, every day. Keep going, keep listening, talking and growing.
The therapist is honestly doing you no good when you are still drinking, so just getting off the juice will help there.
You are going to feel things you probably have never felt before because you have been masking them for so long.
It is going to hurt, you are going to cry BUT you will get over those feelings, and you will grow knowing you are able to get through them SOBER and it really wasn't that bad, you are still alive and your children will see much improvement and strength which will be inspiring to them.
While this is all an assumption if you stop drinking NOW, there are many good things to come from sobriety.
Living life on life's terms, not yours.
Once you put the drink down you can focus on your health and well being, however you see that.
Once you have a good amount of time, you will feel self-love and self-respect, you will know and understand boundaries and put them to use!
You will only invite those with good/sober energy around you because anything other could jeopardize your recovery.
-That is what I did and that has been my outcome so far. You too can have that plus so much more.
Focus on today, just for today I will not drink.
DO that again tomorrow if you want to, I am hoping you do.
Sobriety isn't easy, recovery isn't easy BUT neither is drinking and driving, being reckless and having your children watch you spiral.
Put as much work into your sobriety as you do your drinking, change your mindset and do the work. The promises will come true if you put your all into it.
I wish you the best and I pray for today you will not pick up that first drink (It is the first one that gets us drunk/stupid)
Blessing,
DC