Hi Truthseeker
I am 43 and an alcoholic. I don't have kids but I am very ambitious and driven and a number of years ago I drove myself right into a mental breakdown. My mind and body just couldn't take the lifestyle I chose for it.
I drank like you and struggled with alcohol induced anxiety which is the worst! It has been 8 years since the "crash" and it has taken me this long to rediscover myself.
For me, it wasn't just alcohol that was the problem but it sure added to the horror.
I am sober now and living very differently. It took time but I found support in a very helpful doctor and this site. I realized how important self care is.
I found that when I was able to not drink my mind began to heal but, like many, I really struggled to stay stopped.
Stay close to this site and post whether you are drinking or not. It takes time but you will get there.