Stacy, similar words came out of my XAH's mouth many times, too. It was like somehow his continuing to drink and lie was all about him being true to himself, showing his independence from me, the demanding and domineering wife who had the audacity to be unhappy w/being lied to, stolen from, ignored and gaslighted.
He even tried to explain to me on a couple of occasions how he couldn't agree w/me on things b/c doing so would make him a "yes ma'am" and he didn't want that. It wasn't that he necessarily truly felt or thought differently from me--he simply didn't want to agree just for the sake of not agreeing.
I've heard it said that A's are sometimes thought to be "stuck" at the age they were when they first started drinking. XAH started as a teen, and to me, those ways of showing independence and defiance are totally those of a teen.
But you know, I didn't marry him b/c I wanted to live w/a teen who'd never grow up and who had all the power of an adult to cause damage to me and my life...
Anyway, that text from your AH sure sounded familiar to me!