Originally Posted by
FreeOwl 
I can relate.
I'm dealing with a lot of emotions because of my attachment to my alcoholic sister's impact on my relationship with other members of my family.
At the core, it's just ME creating my own suffering. Yes - they're wound around her axle and yes, there is a lot of drama and yes, some of it has directly impacted me in things they've said and done....
But the bottom line is; none of that stuff is 'mine'. It's a difficult but important opportunity to practice letting go, focusing on my own life and the things I can directly influence in living my life my best.... and they can engage with me when / if they feel compelled to.
I totally agree, I've been really aware of how my anger is only affecting me and that it's toxic. I behave in ways and use words that I am really ashamed of once I calm down, just really derogatory things that I feel are out of character for me. It's ugly and makes me feel ugly. I think at the root of it all I just resent this as a block to everything in my family being 'ok' or maybe the way I think it should be. I know that the only thing I can change in this scenario is my response. I think that maybe means just not speaking to anyone about it anymore as I flare up really quickly. I'm working on compassion, I know there are reasons he is doing what he is doing and also reasons that my parents accept it. AGAIN their reasons!
I hope things get better in your sister/family situation and I appreciate you sharing your perspective.