Hi Raptorgirl! Lovely to meet you.
I'm 37. Been working of the last year trying to really get a handle on my addiction though I new a decade ago I was in real trouble. I've had two really long stints in counselling and I think that was vital in my figuring out things enough to try and stop drinking. I had so much guilt and shame, I was so angry at everyone and I was so disgusted with who I was that I didn't think it would ever change but it has!
Self-forgiveness is massive. If you feel you need some help working on that go and find a good counselling or maybe a group? I honestly think it's key to moving forward. Best wishes to you xx