Some great advice, I will take your advice and start a journal. Its funny(not really), I have lost my home and marriage because of Alcohol yet I still crave the thing that I know has ruined my life for the last 35 years, its crazy and makes no sense whatsoever. I get frustrated and annoyed with myself for this weakness which just makes the whole situation worse, people say to me that I should write down the bad things about alcohol, I want to scream: I KNOW THE BAD THINGS, I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE BAD THINGS, i don't need to write them down, I live with the consequences every minute of every day.
Sorry its a bit of a rant but I really do feel very vunerable today and I desperately want to get to day 16.