Hi Lmag. I think it will really help you to be here with us. We can openly talk about what's going on without being judged or misunderstood.
I was terrified to let go of it. I'd been drinking my whole life - in the end, it was every day. No one knew how much I drank until I became very reckless - it was difficult to hide it. When I came to SR I was instantly less anxious about the whole thing. There are some wonderful people here who want to help. Welcome!