Dontpickitup

A little about my past. I've been a every day beer drinker for the past 11 years or so. It was just a couple after work and about 8-15 on the weekends nights. I started drinking heavy every night about seven years ago. From the Time I got off work until the bar closed. That lasted about a year until I started missing work, luckily I was smart enough to stop that and kept my job. After that I kept it at 4-6 a night on work nights, and what ever on the weekends, probably around 12-15. Since then I've kinda of gone up and down on consumption amount. It gets away from me and I'd try to dial it back down to that 4-6 number on work days.
The past year has kind of gotten away from me. I split up with the mother of my child 15 months ago, I was with her for 10 years and she was cheating while I was out of town for work. So naturally that led to me having to do a bunch of other things like sell my house, sell alot of my stuff etc... I have social anxiety and that situation gave me some real anxiety, elephant on the chest near panic attack type feelings. The only thing that fixed it was beer. I even went to the doctors and got an ssri and that was worse (I've tried them before and did not like them either). So beer it was. Through into the mix being off of work for 4 months because of surgery, and now we have a 11am to 2am drinking situation, daily except for when I had my daughter which was every other week. On the week's I had her I would only drink in the evening aftet dinner but once she was in bed the slamming would begin. I'd say 12 to 20 16oz beers a day for when I had her and didn't have her. This lasted pretty much the whole 4 months I was of of work.
I went back to work in Feb, and cut it back to probably 6-10 a night on work days and what ever on the weekends. And when I'm off between my next job I day drink. So the past few months I've been on a 6-10 a night m-thursday and probably 12-18 on weekends. (If I don't have my daughter). Probably 8-12 when I have her, which is ever other weekend. I've always had a bit of shaky hands, and sweat easier than most. But this has been like this long before my drinking days. (I've had every test under the sun done, it's just the way I am says the doctors). So it's always been easy to write of my even more shaky hands to that instead of drinking.
Well the time has come. I DO have a problem, I am an alcoholic, and I shake so bad during the days I can hardly perform my job. Its been 37 hours since my last beer, temptation is hard and sleep is hard to come by. I limited my self to a six pack a night from sunday-thursday because I was planning on just cutting back like I have every other time it's gotten away from me, and even six beers a night gave me night sweats and bad sleep. I have bags under my eyes and I never have them. So I decided enough is enough. I'm done and hopefully opening up and being honest to some people who know how it is will help.

Thanks, sorry so long.