Welcome to SR, rustygolf!
It sounds like you'll fit right in with the rest of us.
Getting sober is not at all easy--it's one of the toughest things I've ever had to do--but the rewards have been so very much worth it.
Following the AA program is what ultimately saved me and gave me a whole new outlook on life.
Stick with us and you'll find a lot of support and information to help you find a way to get sober too.