Concur with everyone else.
This could be the thing that spurs you to decisive action and to stop drinking, totally. I got wayyyy past this kind of thing and it took a lot more [loss, pain, everything] to finally stop and get into recovery.
Hope you read around the threads, look for what is familiar to you (vs different), perhaps look at the Newcomers Daily section for Class of July 2018 (others considering or quitting this month)....and choose some kind of IRL action plan to face the drinking problems you have now, which are almost 100% going to get worse if you keep going.
Hope to see you around here.