Originally Posted by
Mrdenial 
Hi all, I’m always trying and enjoying AVRT. I have been doing NA meetings for quite a few years and had relapse after relapse. To be honest I never have been a spiritual person and found it difficult to relate to god etc, although without a doubt NA has helped me a lot. Only recently did I discover AVRT and so far so good, it is definitely helped my mindset and effort to finally start to recover. I have had a lot of busy, stressful challenging days at work recently, and have managed to stay pro active and positive, which is a big difference already. I will stay focused and keep working hard, and continue to be a better person I wish to be.
Mrdenial
Hi MrDenial hope you are doing ok. I also didn't like the AA approach and in particular the disease/powerless concept. I had heard other people/addicts use the 'you can't help it you have a disease' line on me and always thought that was BS, or else how could anyone ever recover.
It took me a while to get onboard with AVRT as you have to really be ready to stop forever and for a while I wasn't. I think not being a daily user was a hindrance as I could go for a few weeks without using so all the more easy to convince myself I was a recreational user when I was anything but.
I had a horrible relapse dream last night, then dreamt that I woke up and it was real!! Soooo good to finally wake up properly and realise it was just a dream. In the past I'd wake up from using dreams thinking 'damn! I was only just getting my high on' but this time it really was waves of relief that it was all a dream.
Not missing the coke life at all at the moment. My AV keeps trying to convince me I wasn't serious saying 'hey you didn't really mean all that' and also asking me what I'm going to do at my brother's party next year (he has these coke fuelled parties usually once a year when his wife is away, but not this year )so it's like the next time I'll definitely come into contact with coke would be then, if I go which I probably won't. But AV keeps going on about it/fixating on it.... weird!
Stick with AV and with this board if you can Mr Denial, I found it really helped me.