"Recognizing the patterns, especially the self-destructive patterns, is the first step. Then comes taking them on, for the rest of one's life. Taking them on requires risk, courage, perseverance and showing up more days than not. Some days the possibility of a larger life wins; other days the ghosts win. One has to know that every day is a war between the constrictive colloquies of history and the invitation to the high seas of the soul. But such a venture is what our life is about, what real adulthood is about, and what the journey of the soul demands."
This is from a James Hollis book - he's a Jungian analyst/writer/speaker who I cannot get enough of.