One year down!
Exactly one year ago I was limping in pain, in the middle of yet another gout attack, and decided that I had finally had it: Blackouts, high blood pressure, psoriasis, problems with the family, a dying career - all results of spending too much time with the bottle.
Fast forward to today and my life could not be more different: My health has been mostly restored, things have been smoothed over in the family, and my career has again taken off. Not everything is perfect of course, life never is, but I have learned to face my problems head on rather than avoiding them by using alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Here's what I have learned over the course of this year - none of it is new, but it's certainly worth repeating:
1) It's totally worth it. Every so often there are posts on SR along the lines of 'I used to be the life of the party, now people say I'm boring', 'I can't imagine being at this party and not drink', 'What about my social life', etc etc. True, my sober first Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthday felt kind of weird at first, but that's simply the nature of change. Now I can be at parties, go to bars, meet with friends, and have lots of fun. I'm just not drinking, because I no longer drink. And not drinking does not turn you into a pariah, surprise!
2) Early sobriety has a 'hockey stick' effect: When you stop, some things will actually get worse initially. For some it's blood pressure or other health related symptoms, for some it's trouble in their relationships, and others will have weight problems. My worst problem was being in this mental fog, especially in months 3 and 4, where my IQ seemed to be cut in half and I had a really hard time getting my work done. The key is not to give up, most folks are starting to get out of the woods after 3 to 6 months and then things are getting a lot easier.
3) There is no one path for everybody. Every so often we have these bitter battles here on SR over how to approach sobriety: AA or not, meetings or not, step work, meditation, spiritual work, helping others. Guess what, there is no one size fits all. SR provides a wealth of info on what has worked for people, it is up to everyone of us to find out what works for them. Just don't give up and reach out to the community for help.
4) No, I won't be able to one day 'drink normal' like other people. LOL. The stories I have read of other folks going out again are heart wrenching and frankly they scare the hell out of me.
Anyhow, these are my two cents! I celebrated my first year with a crushing Crossfit workout and once I can walk again I'll be looking forward to my second year of sobriety. A big shout out to the SR community, I could not have done it without your help!