Hi Mistakes, I completely know this feeling. I always get the mental and physical symptoms of anxiety after a relapse binge; inability to focus, feelings of dread, physical tremors, racing heart, agonizing restlessness... it’s absolute hell. I take it this isn’t your first binge, so you know it will pass.
Something you might try is writing down exactly the way you feel right now so that you can read it the next time you consider picking up a drink. I started doing that before I stopped, and kept the small notebook in my purse at all times. Any time I thought about stopping at a liquor store or having “one drink” with friends or colleagues, I forced myself to read some passages. The torture is palpable in my writing. It’s not a full solution on its own, but it’s part of my plan
Good luck to you, and get back on the horse!