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Treebeard ~
A good Pal of mine presented this Perspective.
Say, someone honks at you in Traffic; gives you the ole Middle Finger Salute; and cuts you off 'in return', since they're feeling justified and aggrieved over some imagined slight in heavy Traffic. You can Knee-jerk your response, and cut them off in return to 'get even'.
My Pal's perspective instead is that this Traffic event happened at exact time 'x' on a digital Clock, and at a Global point defined precisely by a GPS. Everything else we overlay on to those 2 truths is our reaction, which can be chosen. No reaction is intrinsically mandated; anymore than a Family or Work situation makes me drink.
An ancillary benefit is that - as new Neural Pathways develop in Sobriety - it becomes easier and The New Normal to react to Life in non-Addict ways. The practice of separating out and examining my response to event 'x' is quite like the AVRT discipline of separating out my AV from the true Me.
While surely imperfect at always executing this chilled Perspective, I have made this sort of Detachment a big part of my ongoing Sober Life. For me, this is addressing Addict Responses at the core. You don't drink - or use - over situations I elect to no longer view as Stressors that require Self-Medication, or other unhealthy/artificial Coping Mechanisms.
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