Got this message today...so maybe he is beginning to understand. "I just want you to know I had a three hour therapy session today and I learned a lot. I asked her to explain everything to me from your perspective and I understand why you need space to heal. I’m sorry and I’m working hard. Let me know when you’re ready to talk. I love and miss you." While I wish he had just learned that and NOT reached out, I will continue to keep my boundaries (and be clear about what I will do if he doesn't respect them rather than telling him what to do/not to do). Thank you all.