My advice would be to stick firm to your boundaries. If you need space, by all means take it.
You don't have to answer every text if you don't want to.
He isn't honouring your boundaries, but I think you should. If he actually cares about healing his family unit he will respect your feelings, not push them all aside for his own desires. Actions speak louder than words. He isn't acting with respect to your requests.
Your sanity is integral to your health and to your daughters well being . Keep doing what you need to do to look after you and her, that's what is fair.
Good for you attending alanon. Keep it up! And hang out here with us as much as you want/need, we get it!