Sorry you are going through this Amusic. All of his behavior is very typical of an alcoholic - blaming others, lack of responsibility, etc. The concept you mention about teaching wild animal to be civilized is not really a good analogy because you actually can teach wild animals things. Alcoholics who are actively drinking cannot be "taught" to do things - and unfortunately they don't really care about you or anything you might have to say. Drinking alcohol is far more important to him right now than you, or anything you might have to say to him. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. It doesn't necessarily make him a bad person, but he's under the spell of alcohol and nothing will change until he quits drinking. In a way you are enabling his behavior too by allowing him to live with you without consequences for his antics. In his mind, why would he not go out and get drunk and disappear for a day or two ? There are no consequences for doing so.
I would suggest you find a way to get him out of your home and life. If that involves getting a lawyer then get a lawyer, but you could also get in touch with your local domestic abuse hotline - because he is abusing you too. They can help you sort out the legal details and get him out of your life.