Healthy and Sober,
I am very sad for you. I think you are saying this is the anniversary of her death? That is so sad. I have a sister I am very close to and I can only imagine the pain. In your despair, think about living life to honor her. What would she have wanted to do if she had more years left. How would she want you to be living your life? I am certain she wants you to carry on and have the life experiences she missed. Think of her watching over you and sending you her strength and love. If she were here, what would she be saying to you right now? Hear those words of comfort and encouragement. Make her proud.