Originally Posted by Verdantia

Hey Rayna. I am very glad you're back. Remember, alcoholism is a progressive disease. Whenever I went back to the drink after some sobriety things just got worse and the consequences became greater. Kindling is a real phenomena. The first time I quit at age 30 it wasn't horribly difficult, just somewhat uncomfortable; I went back to drink 15 years later and when I quit after five hellish years I had horrifying audiovisual hallucinations and a couple of seizures. I spent 2 weeks in hospital and 2 months in rehab. Even that wasn't enough to convince me of sobriety so when I drank after 3 years sober the first night I ended up smashing my car into a concrete barrier in a suicide attempt--I nearly succeeded. I will not tempt fate again, and I treasure my sobriety now like a rare gemstone. July will be my 31st month sober.
I hope you hop back on the sober train and not test it again--failing that test comes at too great a cost. Sending you love and light and lots of encouragement.