Originally Posted by
GerandTwine 
Since it takes the same amount of time (less than five seconds) try saying “never, I will never use cocaine again.” It’s perfectly ok to repeat your Big Plan to yourself.
What are the similarities and differences in your feelings and thoughts between the last week or so with a Big Plan, and the first few weeks of your 9 month plan while pregnant?
OK, I will try.. but what's the difference between saying that and saying 'I don't do that anymore'. Is there something about the word Never?
Interestingly once I found out I was pregnant, on both occasions, drugs were completely off limits and I barely thought about them. I felt relieved that my pregnancy had 'saved/cured' me from drugs -in my first pregnancy I thought that would be it, and indeed I did not have any nor feel the need to until about 8 months after the baby was born and even then it was occasional - every few months or so.
With my second pregnancy I knew I'd probably go back to it but again during the pregnancy wasn't even tempted. I had a health condition that was taking up all my time and energy and could have affected the baby so I certainly wasn't going to even think about endangering the baby any more. I do remember feeling a sense of relief that I had a guaranteed 9 months clean.
I guess the big difference is that I knew that it was only a temporary thing and once the baby was out, drugs would be an option again. I was still using only occasionally and didn't have a local dealer so the drugs were not taking over my life, like they did later on. It was very easy to say 'I can handle this' and to a certain extent that was true as I was getting wasted maybe every 2-3 months, no more.
Its only in later years, and since I got local connections, that I reached the tipping point where it really was affecting my life to the point I needed to stop. So I didn't have that dilemma earlier in my coke-taking career around the time of my pregnancies and shortly after.