Rayna, I hope you don't feel criticized by these posts. It's not like that at all; we've all been there and have probably done worse. I've been hospitalized twice. I've been thrown in jail. I hooked up with a girl's boyfriend IN FRONT OF HER. I've gotten countless bruises and cuts, and said a million horrible things I didn't mean. Point is, we've all had our share of embarrassing nights.
I started rationalizing my drinking. After all, blacking out on my couch and falling asleep seemed like NOTHING compared to spending a night in jail. So by my low standards, everything was fine!
But alcohol is progressive. Bad nights will always come back to haunt you if you keep drinking. It's a total delusion that we can control our alcohol. Yeah, I can remember a FEW times where I successfully had one drink, but compared to all the crazy **** I did that shouldn't even be relevant.
Point is....alcoholism is a totally illogical disorder. You will take any excuse to convince yourself that your drinking is okay, or it's not that bad, or that you've somehow gained control of it.
You have the power anytime, any day to END that crazy cycle and get off that merry go round.
Thanks for posting, I really did need to hear this today as my own AV was acting up around the 4th!