Dee74

One thing which probably doesn't get explored as much here is I drank for as long as I thought I could get away with it.

All the positive reasons to stop in the world didn't mean a thing when I came up against a problem, feeling or situation where the only tool I had was to get drunk.

Intellectually I knew there were other ways to cope and deal but I was scared of change and I was scared that my limited experience of sobriety was the way it would always be and I'd be sober but miserable for the rest of my life.

I wanted to drink yet not have negative consequences - and as long as I could delude myself that this time that magical confluence might happen, I kept drinking.

Now looking back, I realise I didn't have to wait until I nearly died to stop.

All I needed was a little faith - faith that change would not be bad, and faith I'd love my new life more than my old one. Faith that the advice here was good.

I also needed acceptance - acceptance that I did not need alcohol for anything and that there was never going to be a point at which alcohol and I could live in harmony.

Never.

As for recovery falling flat - I think most of us get used to the immediate gratification of things as a drinker.

The reality is it takes time and effort to get sober and to stay that way, and it takes time to build a sober life you love.

I know you have the capacity to understand that and to use that knowledge to defuse the I want it now bomb

I figured I gave 20 years to drinking, I could give a year to this and seeing where I ended up.

The story ended well for me - there's no doubt it can end that way for you too Prof.

D