Hi Prof.
It was a combo of big and little. As August said, 'I didn't want to die'. That's what it had come down to. I drank a long time. In the beginning it just a fun break from reality. In the end, I was completely dependent on it & shook when it wasn't in my system. Obviously, you haven't reached the point where it's taken over your life - but that's where I was when I finally stopped. Yes, I had dui's, a son's disapproval & disgust, co-workers & friends confusion & fear, health issues. All shapes & sizes of problems coming at me from every direction. I was exhausted from trying to keep my head above water. Finally admitting there was never going to be any control over it, I (reluctantly at first) decided to reclaim my life & redeem myself to those who had become so disappointed in me.