Sitting here reading what I've done for these two puppies? It reminds me of how far I've come! What I've been able to accomplish while staying away from those damned pain pills! If I'd stayed on the amount I was taking in 2005? I wouldn't be here today, to be writing about my life and others in my life! I wouldn't have done as much as I have for so many feathered babies in my life either.
Those pills stripped me of who I really am! A good person! I lived only to take the next handful of pills so I could be in a fog while going thru the day. I still had love for my chickens, but PPL got in my way! I was totally in love and lost in my love affair with the pain pills! When I made the decision to get off the pills? I paid dearly for it! I was a wilted person for 30 days while I CT'ed off them. I didn't sleep for 14 days. I had no energy whatsoever! I lived between the couch, my bed, my bedroom floor and the bathroom. I was determined to stay off those damned pills though!
Slowly I regained my energy and my life back again! I had started taking the pills due to my husband! He was mentally and physically abusing me. After regaining myself as a human being again and not just a pill machine? I took the steps to GET OUT! And that's exactly what I did. I lived for years under his ruling thumb. And I let it happen because I chose pain pills over getting out.
I was off the pills for two years. Then I got injured and needed surgery. I fought the VAH for a year to get my surgery though. And there I was back on the pain meds again. I finally got my surgery and went off the pills as soon as I could. So thru the years because of medical reasons? I was using them on and off! But come this Saturday? I'll have 4 years off of them!
On 7-7-2014 I began my new chapter in life off the pills. I spent the first week sitting on the couch looking out the window at the cars driving past and knew I had missed out on so much. The world was passing me by! And I was the idiot that let it happen by living in that foggy world I'd been in. But I stuck with the misery of the detoxing and w/d's to get thru it! And once I was thru it? My eyes were open and my brain was clear! I WAS BACK! And it felt so damned good!
So don't ever give up on trying to get off your DOC! Sure I lost things and PPL along the way! What addict doesn't? But I don't dwell on it! As my mom likes to tell everyone: "TOD just don't care!" LOL And she's right! I've been thru hell and back in many ways. The life I live now? Is a life where I'm in control of it! The pills don't control me anymore!
So think where you can be in a month if you got off your DOC? It took you years to get where you are now on your DOC. If you need medical help to get clean? Then seek it out!